The
Special 25th Anniversary Commerative Fantasy Birthday Wish List
As I have began to do lately is send my friends and family lists of things that I would like to have for my birthday. The problem with these lists is that they are usually things that are easy to find and have a high probability to survive the mail system. Although I enjoy receiving these presents, they are not what I really want. What I really want is either way to specific, expensive or possibly even illegal to possess. That is why I have published this list of things that I would really like to have. I know that in all likely hood I have no hope of receiving these things #060;/span>
Please remember that this list is just for fun and is not to be taken seriously. Just sit back and enjoy it.
NUMBER 10
WORLD
PEACE
Remember this is a fantasy wish list. I can ask for anything I want. Even though it is the evil forces that be that help to provide me with a paycheck, I think this is something that should be added to all wish lists. The other advantage of this: I can now dedicate the rest of the list to more selfish endeavors without looking like possession driven asshole.
NUMBER 9
A NUMBER 9
Served hot, with mustard, mayo, and lettuce. Mmmm. In case you are wondering: there are no Togo’s eateries on this side of the Pacific. I would like to thank TOGO’s for not pressing legal actions.
NUMBER 8
SAN JOSE
SHARKS: STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS
What kind of SJ Sharks Fan would I be if I did not include this on my list. I think of no greater gift for my birthday than a Sharks victory parade in downtown San Jose. With the way the Sharks are playing this year, they have a definite shot.
NUMBER 7
A GUINNESS
OR BASS BEER, SERVED IN A CHILLED MUG AND POURED STRAIGHT FROM THE TAP
All I’m asking for is a glass of one of the two finest beers the world has ever know. Did I mention that these are really hard to find over here.
NUMBER 6
ATOMIC
BETA RIDE 10.EX SKI (170cm)
This is not so much a fantasy gift idea. I have no real need for them over here. Maybe these will be placed on the “Real? list next year.
NUMBER 5
A SLOPE
SIDE WINTER CHALET IN WHISLTER BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA
Okay, this is definitely a fantasy item. But it would still be a cool place to live. The way I figure it, given my present occupation, I will be retired in 2018 or 2019. If my knees are still good, this is definitely where I would like to live out my golden years. That is if Alzeheimers hasn’t set in by then.
NUMBER 4
A DOUBLE
DOUBLE WITH A SIDE OF FRIES
Need I say more?
NUMBER 3
THE WORLD
For centuries, world conquest and domination has been the goal of many great men. I just want to rule the world for a few minutes, and then I’ll give it back. I think it would be a cool story to tell at parties. No one could top, “Well, I did rule the world for a little bit.?
NUMBER 2
A GIRLFRIEND
I am not just looking for just any girl. I have done some extensive studies on a very small sampling of the 3,000,000,000 possible applicants. From my research, I made some discoveries as to what exactly I am looking for. (Ladies: Please note, this is NOT a 36-24-36 kind of list.) ?#060;/span>For the sake of convience, have I have put together some basic requirements.
1.) You must always have been and still are a female (Sex Change Recipients need not apply)?
2.) Must enjoy a very dry (and occasionally lame) sense of humor
3.) Must enjoy at least one of the following
a. Skiing
b. Ice Hockey
c. Bowling
4.) Must be a movie buff
5.) Must be smarter and wiser than me (refer to Requirement Number 1)
6.) Know the difference between a Lager and a Stout
7.) You have to be fun
8.) Must not have a criminal record
9.) Not be to possessive
10.)Not to crazy (A little crazy is okay)
11.)No stalkers, Please!
12.)No smokers, Please!
13.)No Pyromaniacs, Please!
14.)Listen primarily to Rock music and all its cousins (Soft, Alt, Hard, Contemporary, Folk, etc.)
15.)A working knowledge of the English language
16.)Not complain, to much, about the Toilet seat being up
After doing some math, I figure that this narrows the possible applicant pool from 3,000,000,000 to about 3 or 4 thousand. Ladies: If this sounds like you, and you are not offended by this list, drop me a line at kmbarbato@yahoo.com
NUMBER 1
BOSTON RED SOX: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS
The way it looks right now is that this will never, ever happen.?But an optomist is never pleasantly surprised.?I have heard about recent steps that the city has taken to exercise the curse of the Bambino.?I think I should worry when the championship hopes of a baseball team rest on the recovery and restoration of an upright piano.